I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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