Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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