Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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