I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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