This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
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I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
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I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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