His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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