so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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