you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
