You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You made out with two different species that night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
