hell yes lets make some ravioli
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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