Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
