Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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