yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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