sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize