Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize