You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
