Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
