Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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