When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
