This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need water and some morals
Randomize
