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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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