I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
