i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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