im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
