Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
