I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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