You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
