I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
