DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"