If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE