she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
