You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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