i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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