my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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