I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
