I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
