I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
