Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Randomize
