I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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