you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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