I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it because I queefed?
the day after is always just damage control
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
