fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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