It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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