just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize