I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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