There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
