I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
