I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
