that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
