Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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