I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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