Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
