it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
