I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
