Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
