I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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