what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
