Someone shit on the floor
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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