the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
