Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
