Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
