i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
