Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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